Once upon a midnight beery
While I wondered tired and teary
Where to find a fine hotel somewhere in Portland, Ore
Suddenly I heard a beeping
Of an email softly cheeping
A message on my screen a-leaping
Bearing threats of blood and gore
"Where's the con hotel?" it shouted
"I want beer and swords" it pouted
"Free parking too, and corkage flouted!"
Quoth the Patty, "Nevermore.

"That hotel is gone forever
To find a new one's our endeavour
I'm doing my damndest to be clever
So quit your pounding on my door!
Would you prefer a Saturn prison
Or a Portland fannish schism
Or a weekend where we'd listen
To the monsters 'neath the floor?"
Quoth the Patty, "here's the score:

Only one hotel will suit us
The Innsmouth at the Docks recruits us
If you don't like it you can shoot us
But its merits we can not ignore
The eldritch inn has crawling tentacles
Decent room rates, lots of pentacles
Function space is cheap to renticle
And a staff that we'd adore."
Quoth the Patty, "say no more."

-- David D. Levine

We came before you here today
To speak these words, we're sad to say
Our old hotel, we've sadly lost
Upon the sea of search we're tossed
So here's the news we've come to tell
Of when and where our new hotel
So run, run as fast as you can
To the Gingerbread Cottage if you be a true fan
The same old weekend, yes it's true
A sweet, sweet deal from us to you

-- Kim Marks Brown